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Ask Orbit · by Can Arslan · 2026-09-18

What is the kindest way to start with advice after a few failed attempts?

Context: I am not an expert, just someone trying to make Ask Orbit feel less intimidating. I wrote down what worked, what felt awkward, and what I would do differently next time.

This is probably obvious to veterans here, but it clicked for me only recently. stories got easier when I stopped treating every attempt like a final exam.

I had a disappointing first try, a surprisingly good second try, and then a third attempt that taught me humility. So, naturally, I now have opinions

240 sparks · 18 comments

Comments

Sara Ahmed · 75 likes

Yes, but I would approach it in a small, testable way rather than trying to solve everything at once. You will learn more from a simple version repeated three times than from a perfect plan you never start.

- Start small and make the next step obvious.
- Keep notes so you can compare what worked.
- Ask someone with recent experience, not just strong opinions.

Hope this helps!

Can Arslan · 8 likes

Now I want a spreadsheet

Maya Putri · 37 likes

the middle path is probly best: try it cheaply, keep notes and decide after you have real evidence. I care less about the perfect answer and more about repeatability

Ngozi Bello · 31 likes

Yes, but I would approach it in a small, testable way rather than trying to solve everything at once. If two options look equal, choose the one that is easier to reverse.

- Start small and make the next step obvious.
- Keep notes so you can compare what worked.
- Ask someone with recent experience, not just strong opinions.

Source: mostly hard-won experience and comparing notes with people who stuck with it

Kabir Khan · 18 likes

love teh tiny experiment energy. That is teh kind of detail beginners miss

Arif Hasan · 37 likes

That made the concept click

Can Arslan · 15 likes

@coderRunner2 Fair pushback

Giulia Rossi · 18 likes

I love this. It feels practical without pretending life is neat. People underestimate how much sleep changes the answer

Chloe Davis · 6 likes

fair pushback

Cedar Mango · 16 likes

I would ask what outcome you want in two weeks, not in some ideal future. That makes the choice much clearer. That is the kind of detail beginners miss

Rapid Otter · 8 likes

really good advice, and it feels doable. I would write it down before changing anything else

Gentle Baker · 3 likes

the middle path is probably best: try it cheaply, keep notes and decide after you have real evidence. The Cairo example makes it feel concrete

Maya Williams · 2 likes

my practical advice is to make the next step tiny enough that you can do it today. Momentum usually answers half the question. This is where I would ask one more question before choosing

Nour Ali · 6 likes

helpful correction

Aisha Rahman · 2 likes

I would ask what outcome you want in two weeks, not in some ideal future. That makes the choice much clearer. This pairs weirdly well with mango sticky rice

Mia Bauer · 2 likes

I would ask what outcome you want in two weeks, not in some ideal future. That makes teh choice much clearer. I would love to see a follow-up after 7 weeks

Aarav Sharma · 1 likes

My practical advice is to make the next step tiny enough that you can do it today. Momentum usually answers half the question. The 6-minute rule is underrated

João Pereira · 1 likes

I do not have a strong take, but the kindest detail is useful. This is more useful on a tired weekend then on a perfect day