Ask Orbit · by Rizky Pratama · 2026-10-20
Married 6 years, both WFH now. How do you split chores without keeping score?
My wife and I have been married six years and we both work from home now, which has been great in a lot of ways. But being home all day means the mess is constant and we've started quietly tallying who did what, which isn't healthy. We don't fight about it exactly, but there's a low-level tension I'd like to fix. How do other couples handle this without turning it into a spreadsheet?
41 sparks · 19 comments
Comments
Lina Keller · 13 likes
We split by ownership not by task. I own the kitchen, she owns laundry, etc. no one has to remember or ask
Rohan Mehta · 10 likes
ownership is key, 'helping' is not the same as owning
Ethan Brooks · 4 likes
this changed everything for us too. the mental load of noticing is the real chore
Rapid Coder · 10 likes
10 minute reset at lunch every day. both of us, timer on, done. sounds silly but works
Marco Conti · 6 likes
Sit down once and talk about which chores each of you actually hate. sometimes the split sorts itself out
Hugo Martin · 0 likes
turns out my husband likes ironing?? who knew
Beatriz Sousa · 1 likes
Get a cleaner every couple weeks if budget allows. best money we spend, zero arguments since
Liam Wilson · 0 likes
not everyone can afford it but if you can, yeah
Rapid Coder · 1 likes
WFH also means you see every crumb at 2pm. we agreed to only care about tidy at the end of the day
Sara Hosseini · 9 likes
the 'mess is allowed during work hours' rule saved my sanity
Hugo Sánchez · 0 likes
Honestly a spreadsheet isnt the worst thing for a month. just to see the reality, then throw it away
Jack Taylor · 10 likes
we did this and found out we each thought we did 70%
Maya Williams · 0 likes
the tension usually isnt about the dishes, its about feeling unappreciated. say thank you more, even for small stuff
Luciana Vargas · 0 likes
we have one rule: whoever cooks doesnt clean. simple
Maksym Bondar · 9 likes
until one person makes toast and claims they cooked